too much me time

Lately, now that the kids are in school full time I have been having a lot of "me time". Honestly, I don't like it!! I have been trying to figure out how to enjoy time with myself. I read a lot of books, crochet, cross stich plastic canvas (or whatever the plastic canvas technique is called is) and I am failing on figuring out how to enjoy my own company! I don't know how to change this. theoretically you can just decide to change how you feel right? well, that has never been my experience. I can change how I respond to things which over time sometimes helps change how I feel but the fact that my mind is sometimes just messed up and feels things that completely don't make sense (and I know it) makes it hard to just flat change the feelings. I keep thinking about finding a job, but then on days I work and I am stressing about one of the kids potentially being sick and what am I going to do cuz its hard on everyone if I call in. How will the kids get here or there if I am at work, and many other things that work out so much better if someone is home. I also have a really hard time enjoying motherhood after a day at work, seems I go to work and I enjoy it, then I come home and I am tired and ready to relax. Coming home and doing homework with the kids is not what I had in mind as relaxing but it is a very necessary thing to do.  I know so many parents who manage to be amazing parents while being a working parent but I am scared to death to make that change. :/ How do I decide which is better, continuing to attempt to figure out how to stay busy and enjoy my own company at home alone while the kids are at school, or figure out how to juggle being the best parent I can be and work. :/ I am so grateful for my amazing husband who supports me in so many ways and allows this to be a decision that I can debate and decide what will be best for our family. I really believe there are so many benefits to having a stay at home parent involved in the children's lives even as they get older and need less and less immediate help with things, and its much easier to continue to be involved in their lives and be there for them if I am here. sometimes I just wish things were more black and white so that decisions like this would be easier because there was one right decision instead of two decisions which both have pros and cons to them! I love being home with the kids when the kids are home, they are amazing little people who make life so much more fun! I on the other hand, am not so much fun to be around maybe one day I will be as cool as my kiddos.

Plastic canvas Minecraft chicken.

I decided to add a chicken  to the minecraft  plastic canvas toys for my boys.  This is how it turned out.  I had to put a double  layer on the feet so it angled the chicken up to help it balance.  For the legs I stitched all three layers then stitched them together making the legs more firm.  The chicken is still not perfectly  balanced  or anything  but she stands up on her own so I'm  calling  it a win.